Wednesday, January 8, 2014


This entry will serve as a reminder to me of how I survived 2013.

December 2012: 
  • We officially broke up on Christmas Eve while I was on work.
  •  I moved out of our house.

January 2013: 
  • New Year's Eve: We celebrated it together. Fireworks!
  • I tried to win you back. Nothing happened.
  •  I was a zombie at work. 
  • You chose him over me.

February 2013: 
  • I decided to end our communication. I never answered your calls, emails nor sms. 
  • I was drunk on a daily basis and smoked 2 packs of cigarette a day.
  • I went on a vacation to Quezon and Laguna alone. Spent days thinking about what happened.
  • I bought a new phone so that I can forget you.
  • On the 18th, you messaged me that Oreo was sick and that you rushed him to the vet. I went to see him but I avoided to see you. 
  • Communications up between the two of us because of Oreo.
  • I met someone this month. We dated several times.

March 2013:
  •  Oreo is still admitted. We decided to just bring home Oreo and continue the care there. 
  • We had no choice but to live together again for Oreo. We acted as if we're together again, although I know that you and him are still together. 
  • You told me that you are already fixing the some papers for a condo unit and that you will be moving out from our house in Parang.

April 2013: 
  • We readmitted Oreo again due to continuous bleeding. Doctor told us that we may need surgery already. 
  • We decided to bring Oreo back home and continue giving medications while we prepare for the Surgery. 
  • There were a lot of sleepless nights for us as we take care of Oreo. 
  • You also applied for another promotion and I was there backing you up. I was always there to listen about your rants at work and even help you out with work stuff. 
  • We hand in hand processed all papers for the condo unit you just bought. I was there all the way. 
  • I was transferred to a different area under a different supervisor.
  • I attended my best friends' wedding and you even picked me up after the event.
  • Last week of April, we had surgery for Oreo.

May 2013: 
  • We are still living together and acted as a couple despite the fact that you and him are still together. I was the original before, yet I am the mistress now. 
  • We cleaned up the house in Parang and pack all things. 
  • My parents were even helping out in the moving out. 
  • The guards in the new unit knew me as one of its new owner. We moved out and started living in the new crib. 
  • While you were busy at work, I was busy moving and arranging things in and out of the unit. 
  • I closed my doors to all potential dates and suitors. I dedicated my time in fixing the unit.
  • I was from night duty when a friend dragged me to take an exam abroad for Oman. Apparently, I passed the exam and she didn't. The day after, I was on my way to a hotel in Roxas Blvd. for my interview. Fortunately, I passed again and my papers were processed. They said that they will contact me again in about four to eight months while they process my papers.
  • Had a vacation in Tagaytay and Nasugbu.

June 2013:
  •  Are we a couple? Are we back together? Are you and him still together? I kept asking you those questions and yet I got no reply. 
  • You enjoy me being there. You even gave me gifts and treat me out for dinner and other surprises. 
  • We bought new bed and other house stuff. We were still living together under the same roof. 
  • I went to Bicol for vacation with friends and you constantly called to check on me if I am okay. 
  • Had a minor vehicular accident in Bicol.
  • Right after my vacation, you wanted me to go straight to the unit and stay there instead of me going home to mom. (Of course I did)

July 2013: 
  • We are still on the same cycle. 
  • Though I started dating some but none of them worked out.
  • I still go to your place every time you want me to. We still meet up and go out. 
  •  I found a clear evidence that you and him are still together. Decided that this needs to stop. I started to keep my distance from you. 
  • Last week of the month, a group of guys found me alone drinking in a bar.

August 2013:
  • I started to confront you with issues about us. You said you just want me to be there. Just there and never leave. I was fed up. I asked for a closure. I asked for this to end.
  •  I avoided you but you keep on pushing and showing up. You keep on confessing that you love me and that you will be ending what you have with the other guy. 
  • We had a closure probably on the third or fourth week of this month. I came from a usual drinking session and I asked you to pick me up at around 3 AM. We talked inside the car until daybreak. You said that you wanted me and that you love me. I told you that there is a lot of wounds to heal for both of us.
  • I bought a new phone again.
  • I started seeing someone and took him seriously. We started going out for movies and dates.
  • I climbed Pico De Loro.

September 2013: 
  • You pushed me to the limits. I punched you straight to your face because of your inconsistent lines and stories. We never spoke again since then. 
  • He messaged me that he wanted the duplicate keys back. I never gave it back. I ignored his message. I have no plans of seeing him nor talking to him.
  • A workmate confessed to me that he is gay. I started to be his big bro in the gay world.
  • We climbed Mt. Romelo in Ternate, Cavite. The group was divided into two. Both groups were lost in the woods for almost four hours. We had no light nor water left. I guided the second group during descent. (Prior to climbing Mt. Romelo, I was on a 12 hour night duty, so that will make me up and awake for almost fifty hours)
October 2013:
  • Attended a convention for work. A fellow attendee attempted to have sex with me inside the comfort room. We were all drunk. And yes, he is gay; discreet gay just like me. After the near-missed incident, he asked me out several times for dates but I declined it.
  • Ex and I never talked again. Though he kept on posting stuff in his Facebook account which is very unusual. He seems to be making papansin according to my workmate. I avoided signing in to Facebook.
  • I focused all my attention to work. A lot of tasks were given to me.
November 2013:
  • First week was a blast. All work and no play. Seven days straight. Crap.
  • Another friend dragged me to an agency in Ortigas for Visa Processing for AU. We were fortunate enough to be selected as possible candidates but we need to take IELTS first. They will be sponsoring the crash course review and the actual exam.
  • My friend and I planned the next steps for leaving the country.
  • I received a call from my other boss regarding the deployment of Emergency Response for Tacloban. Two days after the Storm Surge, I was sent to Leyte.
  • A few hours before my flight to Tacloban, Ex sent me an email with scanned pages of his journal/diary. It depicts his life since January. Words he cannot tell. Things he should have done. And worst, he told me how much he loves me. I was crying in the airport while I am reading it.
  • First three days in Tacloban was hell. It is what we call as Ground Zero. No food nor water (Ours were looted and lost in transit) Dead bodies everywhere.
  • Stayed in Tacloban for almost two weeks. Realizations are as follows: #1-We should be contented and thankful for what we have. #2-Money cannot buy everything. It is even worthless in times of distress. #3-Life has a lot to offer. You should never give up and you should learn to smile and look at another day with a smile. #4-The Government is never ready for such calamities. It sucks!
  • Went back to Manila just before my birthday. Renewed my PRC license and watched Hunger Games alone.
  • Ex messaged me a birthday greeting via email. I did the same thing and greeted him back five days after for his birthday.
  • I met a guy, let's just call him bunso. He eventually turned out to be a good friend.
December 2013:
  • We started the IELTS review and luckily we passed the mock exams. Actual exams will be mid-January 2014.
  • I have decided to leave the country for good.
  • I went to Baguio for vacation.
  • I tried to avoid the idea of being sad and planned a happy Christmas and new year.
  • I met someone again this month (not sure yet if it will work out)
  • Celebrated Christmas eve at work (I am officially one year single weee!)
  • Celebrated New Year's Eve with family. Without Ex of course. Still bought fireworks to cheer up the night.
  • I tried to call Ex for the last time but he didn't picked up.

2013 was a mess. But I know 2014 is better! 
I am starting a new.